How to find the right yoga retreat for you

The first day was pretty easy. I found great relief and comfort in simply sitting quietly for hours, with nothing else to do. We were asked to ‘Just watch our breath”. What could go wrong with that? Over the course of this first day, I experienced that delight that we all feel as we move from stimulated to relaxed. “Oh, here we go” I thought, “peace is here”. The next 4 days were hell on earth. The relief of the first day was replaced by the stark realisation that whilst I could shut out the world, I couldn’t shut out my mind. Sitting ‘just watching my breath’ was next-to-impossible. Relentless thoughts, ideas, planning, ruminating and old, unresolved stories played like a bad B-movie rerun on repeat.

Living in this madness with no proper instruction as to how to navigate it was almost unbearable. Had I had my own transport, I’m pretty sure I’d have left. However, with no way back to the world I was indeed imprisoned, and it didn’t feel good. Sitting for hours with a straight back and ‘strong determination’ just added to the brutality of the whole experience. Whilst I’ve come to appreciate that it’s good to endure hardship, there’s a line that this crossed. My body felt broken. The pain was overwhelming at points. But, being a glutton for punishment, I continued as best I could. I met with the teacher on day 3 & 4 and expressed my challenges, only to be met with “you’re doing it wrong, the instruction is to watch your breath”. No shit! I felt chastised rather than supported. Whilst I understand the perspective and the simplicity of this approach, it totally missed the mark in terms of being in any way helpful.